This post is not meant to be a downer by any stretch of the imagination – just sharing some of what is going on in my world.
Grief, defined, is: deep sadness caused especially by one’s death. The definition doesn’t come close to the actual feeling of the word.
In the last three months, I’ve experienced many forms of grief. And only one has personally happened to me, the rest are the result of sharing life with friends, and how you share and grieve with them.
1. The weekend we moved from Little Rock, three members of our church died tragically in the tornadoes that swept through the area. I felt deep sorrow for a sweet little boy about the age of Sebastian who would grow up never knowing his daddy. Of daughters who would never have their daddy walk them down the aisle. Of a sweet wife and friend, who would never lay beside her best friend in bed again, or sit with him and talk about their future together.
2. Shortly after that, a friend told me she had lost the baby she was carrying. A baby so desired, so already loved. With so man abortions happening daily in the world, why does a couple who wants children struggle with the ability to conceive and carry a child to term? And still many others struggle with infertility. Each month, the woman’s period returns again, therefore signifying another month of not getting their heart’s desire: a baby.
3. A loss of parents: so many of my friends are living life with burying their parents. I know we live in a cycle of life and death is part of that, but the burden of living after a death of a loved one is extremely difficult.
4. For me, a loss of friendship and a possibility. This may not seem as important – but believe me. When life throws something at you that you don’t know quite what to do with – and all of a sudden life changes in every.single.way – there are deaths in your life. I consider friendships to be one of my top priorities in life – and for some friendships to be completely severed over a matter of weeks, life changes. Thoughts change. Trust is no longer so easily given.
So, what do we do?
1. We weep. We not only weep for ourselves, but we weep for our friends. I weep for that wife and those children. I weep for the infertile wife. I weep for the sons and daughters who are burying their parents. I weep for friendships lost. I weep for dreams shattered.
2. We trust. This has got to be one of the hardest truths of the Christian life: God is good even when bad things happen. God is sovereign over every storm: every birth: every death: every burial: every body: every dream.
3. We share. We live life with friends. We don’t run away when things get bad. No. We sit. We stare in silence. We weep. We continue walking beside them. We pray together. We love together. We talk and laugh. We press on.
